Letter 583 - Revision history

Tony: Inserted "a" for clarity of meaning

2024-04-05T13:17:15Z

Inserted "a" for clarity of meaning

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:17, 5 April 2024
Line 25:		Line 25:

	\|Translated text={{right\|13 July<br/>[[Petersburg]]}}		\|Translated text={{right\|13 July<br/>[[Petersburg]]}}
	[[Tolichka]], yesterday was perhaps the most difficult day of all since the 6th of July. It seemed to me in the morning that my life was broken forever and I found myself in fit of despair. By 3 o'clock a multitude of people had gathered at our place: [[Nikolay Rubinstein]], his sister Sofya, [[Malozyomova]], [[Karl Davydov]], Ivanov <ref name="note1"/>, [[Bessel]], [[Laroche]]. We dined together. In the evening, we first saw off [[Nikolay Rubinstein\|Nikolay Grigoryevich]] back to [[Moscow]], and then [[Malozyomova]] and Sofya to [[Peterhof]].		[[Tolichka]], yesterday was perhaps the most difficult day of all since the 6th of July. It seemed to me in the morning that my life was broken forever and I found myself in a fit of despair. By 3 o'clock a multitude of people had gathered at our place: [[Nikolay Rubinstein]], his sister Sofya, [[Malozyomova]], [[Karl Davydov]], Ivanov <ref name="note1"/>, [[Bessel]], [[Laroche]]. We dined together. In the evening, we first saw off [[Nikolay Rubinstein\|Nikolay Grigoryevich]] back to [[Moscow]], and then [[Malozyomova]] and Sofya to [[Peterhof]].

	Returning home with my wife and [[Laroche]], we as usual requested roast beef, beer and vodka. I get a little drunk every evening now, so as to sleep like the dead. Eventually [[Laroche]], now very cheerful after an attack of hypochondria, departed. The most terrifying moment of the day arrived that evening when I was alone with my wife, and we began to walk arm in arm. Suddenly, I felt myself calm and contented... I do not understand how it happened! In any case, from that moment onwards everything around became lighter, and I realised that whatever kind of person my wife may be, ''she is my wife'' and that this fact is something perfectly normal and as it should be {{...}} <ref name="note2"/>		Returning home with my wife and [[Laroche]], we as usual requested roast beef, beer and vodka. I get a little drunk every evening now, so as to sleep like the dead. Eventually [[Laroche]], now very cheerful after an attack of hypochondria, departed. The most terrifying moment of the day arrived that evening when I was alone with my wife, and we began to walk arm in arm. Suddenly, I felt myself calm and contented... I do not understand how it happened! In any case, from that moment onwards everything around became lighter, and I realised that whatever kind of person my wife may be, ''she is my wife'' and that this fact is something perfectly normal and as it should be {{...}} <ref name="note2"/>

	For the first time I awoke today without a sense of despair and hopelessness. My wife is in no way repugnant to me. I'm already starting to relate to her as any husband who isn't in love with his wife. But most importantly, today I no longer feel awkward with her, or to have to occupy her with small talk, and I am perfectly calm. The first of August no longer seems to me, as it did before, a distant port, to which I'm waiting to embark across an endless sea of despair. This is only made possible because I cherish the sweet hope of being with you. In a word — congratulate me. As of today the terrible crisis has passed. I am recovering. But the crisis was ''terrible'', ''terrible'', ''terrible''; were it not for my love for you and my other dear ones who supported me in the midst of ''unbearable mental agony'', it might have ended badly, that is, with illness or madness.		For the first time, I awoke today without a sense of despair and hopelessness. My wife is in no way repugnant to me. I'm already starting to relate to her as any husband who isn't in love with his wife. But most importantly, today I no longer feel awkward with her, or to have to occupy her with small talk, and I am perfectly calm. The first of August no longer seems to me, as it did before, a distant port, to which I'm waiting to embark across an endless sea of despair. This is only made possible because I cherish the sweet hope of being with you. In a word — congratulate me. As of today the terrible crisis has passed. I am recovering. But the crisis was ''terrible'', ''terrible'', ''terrible''; were it not for my love for you and my other dear ones who supported me in the midst of ''unbearable mental agony'', it might have ended badly, that is, with illness or madness.

	Today we are going straight back to [[Moscow]]. My wife received news that the mortgage money from the forest is awaiting her. Thereupon, we shall go to stay in the country, then I'll steal a few days of July and wait it out until God grants me the bliss of seeing you. Kissing you affectionately.		Today we are going straight back to [[Moscow]]. My wife received news that the mortgage money from the forest is awaiting her. Thereupon, we shall go to stay in the country, then I'll steal a few days of July and wait it out until God grants me the bliss of seeing you. Kissing you affectionately.

Brett: Text replacement - "Malozemova" to "Malozyomova"

2023-08-17T18:52:14Z

Text replacement - "Malozemova" to "Malozyomova"

← Older revision		Revision as of 20:52, 17 August 2023
Line 25:		Line 25:

	\|Translated text={{right\|13 July<br/>[[Petersburg]]}}		\|Translated text={{right\|13 July<br/>[[Petersburg]]}}
	[[Tolichka]], yesterday was perhaps the most difficult day of all since the 6th of July. It seemed to me in the morning that my life was broken forever and I found myself in fit of despair. By 3 o'clock a multitude of people had gathered at our place: [[Nikolay Rubinstein]], his sister Sofya, [[~~Malozemova~~]], [[Karl Davydov]], Ivanov <ref name="note1"/>, [[Bessel]], [[Laroche]]. We dined together. In the evening, we first saw off [[Nikolay Rubinstein\|Nikolay Grigoryevich]] back to [[Moscow]], and then [[~~Malozemova~~]] and Sofya to [[Peterhof]].		[[Tolichka]], yesterday was perhaps the most difficult day of all since the 6th of July. It seemed to me in the morning that my life was broken forever and I found myself in fit of despair. By 3 o'clock a multitude of people had gathered at our place: [[Nikolay Rubinstein]], his sister Sofya, [[Malozyomova]], [[Karl Davydov]], Ivanov <ref name="note1"/>, [[Bessel]], [[Laroche]]. We dined together. In the evening, we first saw off [[Nikolay Rubinstein\|Nikolay Grigoryevich]] back to [[Moscow]], and then [[Malozyomova]] and Sofya to [[Peterhof]].

	Returning home with my wife and [[Laroche]], we as usual requested roast beef, beer and vodka. I get a little drunk every evening now, so as to sleep like the dead. Eventually [[Laroche]], now very cheerful after an attack of hypochondria, departed. The most terrifying moment of the day arrived that evening when I was alone with my wife, and we began to walk arm in arm. Suddenly, I felt myself calm and contented... I do not understand how it happened! In any case, from that moment onwards everything around became lighter, and I realised that whatever kind of person my wife may be, ''she is my wife'' and that this fact is something perfectly normal and as it should be {{...}} <ref name="note2"/>		Returning home with my wife and [[Laroche]], we as usual requested roast beef, beer and vodka. I get a little drunk every evening now, so as to sleep like the dead. Eventually [[Laroche]], now very cheerful after an attack of hypochondria, departed. The most terrifying moment of the day arrived that evening when I was alone with my wife, and we began to walk arm in arm. Suddenly, I felt myself calm and contented... I do not understand how it happened! In any case, from that moment onwards everything around became lighter, and I realised that whatever kind of person my wife may be, ''she is my wife'' and that this fact is something perfectly normal and as it should be {{...}} <ref name="note2"/>

Brett: 1 revision imported

2022-07-12T11:25:11Z

1 revision imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 13:25, 12 July 2022
(No difference)

Brett at 17:47, 30 March 2020

2020-03-30T17:47:10Z

New page

{{letterhead
|Date=13/25 July 1877
|To=[[Anatoly Tchaikovsky]]
|Place=[[Saint Petersburg]]
|Language=Russian
|Autograph={{locunknown}}
|Publication={{bib|1961/38|П. И. Чайковский. Полное собрание сочинений ; том VI}} (1961), p. 155 (abridged)<br/>''{{bibx|1998/70|Tchaikovsky and His World}}'' (1998), p. 82–83 (English translation; abridged)<br/>{{bibx|2009/2|Неизвестный Чайковский}} (2009), p. 226–227
|Notes=Incomplete typed copy in [[ Klin]] (Russia): {{RUS-KLč}}
}}
==Text and Translation==
Based on a typed copy (with deletions) by [[Modest Tchaikovsky]] in the [[Klin]] House-Museum Archive, which may contain differences in formatting and content from Tchaikovsky's original letter.
{{Lettertext
|Language=Russian
|Translator=Alexander Poznansky & Brett Langston
|Original text={{right|13 июля<br/>Петербург}}
Толичка, вчера был, может быть, самый тяжёлый день из всех, протёкших с 6-го июля. Утром мне казалось, что моя жизнь навсегда разбита и на меня нашёл припадок отчаяния. К 3-м часам к нам собралось множество народа: Н. Рубинштейн, его сестра Софи, Малоземова, К. Ю. Давыдов, Иванов, Бессель, Ларош. Обедали вместе. Вечером провожали сначала Н[иколая] Г[ригорьевича] в Москву, потом Малоземовой и Софи в Петергоф.

Возвратившись с женой и Ларошем домой, по обыкновению спросили ростбифу, водки и пива. Я каждый день теперь с вечера слегка напивался, чтобы добиться покойного сна. Наконец Ларош, сделавшийся после припадка ипохондрии очень весёлым, удалился. Наступил самый ужасный момент дня, когда я вечером остаюсь один с женой. Мы стали с ней ходить обнявшись. Вдруг я почувствовал себя спокойным и довольным... Не понимаю, каким образом это случилось! Как бы то ни было, но с этого момента, внезапно все вокруг просветлело и я почувствовал что какая бы ни была моя жена, ''она моя жена'' и что в этом есть что-то совершенно нормальное, как и следует быть {{...}}

В первый раз я проснулся сегодня без ощущения отчаяния и безнадёжности. Жена мне нисколько не противна. Я к ней уже начинаю относиться, как всякий муж, не влюблённый в свою жену. А главное, я сегодня уже не стесняюсь с ней, не занимаю её разговорами и совершенно покоен. 1-ое августа уже не представляется мне, как прежде, какой-то отдалённой пристанью, где я на время пристану, чтобы потом уже навеки предаться какому-то морю отчаяния. Просто это сделалось для меня сладкой надеждой на свидание с тобой. Словом, поздравь меня. Со сегодняшнего дня ужасный кризис прошёл. Я выздоравливаю. Но кризис был ''ужасный'', ''ужасный'', ''ужасный''; если бы не моя любовь к тебе и другим близким, поддержавшая меня среди ''невыносимых душевных мук'', то могло бы кончиться плохо, т. е. болезнью или сумасшествием.

Сегодня мы уезжаем прямо в Москву. Жена получила известие, что деньги под залог леса ждут её. Засим отправимся в деревню, а там, украв несколько деньков от июля, доживу, Бог даст, до блаженства свидания с тобой. Целую тебя крепко.

Теперь даю слово, что беспокоиться за меня ничего. Я вошёл всецело в период выздоровления.

|Translated text={{right|13 July<br/>[[Petersburg]]}}
[[Tolichka]], yesterday was perhaps the most difficult day of all since the 6th of July. It seemed to me in the morning that my life was broken forever and I found myself in fit of despair. By 3 o'clock a multitude of people had gathered at our place: [[Nikolay Rubinstein]], his sister Sofya, [[Malozemova]], [[Karl Davydov]], Ivanov <ref name="note1"/>, [[Bessel]], [[Laroche]]. We dined together. In the evening, we first saw off [[Nikolay Rubinstein|Nikolay Grigoryevich]] back to [[Moscow]], and then [[Malozemova]] and Sofya to [[Peterhof]].

Returning home with my wife and [[Laroche]], we as usual requested roast beef, beer and vodka. I get a little drunk every evening now, so as to sleep like the dead. Eventually [[Laroche]], now very cheerful after an attack of hypochondria, departed. The most terrifying moment of the day arrived that evening when I was alone with my wife, and we began to walk arm in arm. Suddenly, I felt myself calm and contented... I do not understand how it happened! In any case, from that moment onwards everything around became lighter, and I realised that whatever kind of person my wife may be, ''she is my wife'' and that this fact is something perfectly normal and as it should be {{...}} <ref name="note2"/>

For the first time I awoke today without a sense of despair and hopelessness. My wife is in no way repugnant to me. I'm already starting to relate to her as any husband who isn't in love with his wife. But most importantly, today I no longer feel awkward with her, or to have to occupy her with small talk, and I am perfectly calm. The first of August no longer seems to me, as it did before, a distant port, to which I'm waiting to embark across an endless sea of despair. This is only made possible because I cherish the sweet hope of being with you. In a word — congratulate me. As of today the terrible crisis has passed. I am recovering. But the crisis was ''terrible'', ''terrible'', ''terrible''; were it not for my love for you and my other dear ones who supported me in the midst of ''unbearable mental agony'', it might have ended badly, that is, with illness or madness.

Today we are going straight back to [[Moscow]]. My wife received news that the mortgage money from the forest is awaiting her. Thereupon, we shall go to stay in the country, then I'll steal a few days of July and wait it out until God grants me the bliss of seeing you. Kissing you affectionately.

Now I give you my word that there's no need to worry about me. I have entirely entered the period of convalescence.
}}
==Notes and References==
<references>
<ref name="note1">Mikhail Ivanov (1849-1927), composer and music critic for the newspaper ''New Times'' (Новое время).</ref>
<ref name="note2">The following text was deleted from the typed copy of this letter made by [[Modest Tchaikovsky]], and cannot be restored.</ref>
</references>
{{DEFAULTSORT:Letter 0583}}