Tony: "quite" to "quiet" for accuracy of meaning / "post restante" to "poste restante"

2024-04-12T12:23:12Z

"quite" to "quiet" for accuracy of meaning / "post restante" to "poste restante"

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:23, 12 April 2024
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	I received your letter yesterday. What can I say to you to express my gratitude? There are feelings for which there are no words, and if I were to try to find expressions capable of depicting what you inspire in me, I fear the result would be hollow phrases. But you read my heart, do you not? Let me say only this: until meeting you, I never knew that there might exist anyone with so unfathomably tender and sublime a soul. I am equally amazed both by what you ''do'' for me and by ''how'' you do it. Your letter contains so much warmth, so much friendship, that this alone is enough to make me love life again and endure steadfastly life's adversities. I thank you for all this, my priceless friend! I doubt that an opportunity will ever present itself for me to show in deed that I am willing to make any sacrifice for you; I do not think that you would ever find it necessary to turn to me with a request for my good offices in some important matter — and that is why all I can do is to oblige and please you through music. [[Nadezhda Filaretovna]]! Every note that henceforth flows from my pen will be dedicated to you! To you I shall owe the love of labour returning to me with redoubled force, and never, not for a single second, shall I ever forget while working that you have given me the opportunity to carry on with my artistic vocation. Now there is so much for me still left to do. Without any false modesty I will tell you that everything I have written so far seems to me so imperfect, so feeble in comparison with what I ''can and must'' achieve. And I shall do it.		I received your letter yesterday. What can I say to you to express my gratitude? There are feelings for which there are no words, and if I were to try to find expressions capable of depicting what you inspire in me, I fear the result would be hollow phrases. But you read my heart, do you not? Let me say only this: until meeting you, I never knew that there might exist anyone with so unfathomably tender and sublime a soul. I am equally amazed both by what you ''do'' for me and by ''how'' you do it. Your letter contains so much warmth, so much friendship, that this alone is enough to make me love life again and endure steadfastly life's adversities. I thank you for all this, my priceless friend! I doubt that an opportunity will ever present itself for me to show in deed that I am willing to make any sacrifice for you; I do not think that you would ever find it necessary to turn to me with a request for my good offices in some important matter — and that is why all I can do is to oblige and please you through music. [[Nadezhda Filaretovna]]! Every note that henceforth flows from my pen will be dedicated to you! To you I shall owe the love of labour returning to me with redoubled force, and never, not for a single second, shall I ever forget while working that you have given me the opportunity to carry on with my artistic vocation. Now there is so much for me still left to do. Without any false modesty I will tell you that everything I have written so far seems to me so imperfect, so feeble in comparison with what I ''can and must'' achieve. And I shall do it.

	I am very pleased with my present residence. Quite apart from fact that I have wonderful view of the lake and Savoy mountains, with [[Montreux]] to the left, and far away you can see Dent du Midi – I like the villa itself where my brother and I staying very much. Besides us, there are only two ill German ladies who never leave their room. We two dine alone in the table d'hôte restaurant. Nothing disturbs the peace and ~~quite~~ here. But I will not conceal from you that I have persistent desire for a long visit to Italy and I have made up my mind to go straight to [[Rome]] with my brother in a week and half, and finally on to to [[Naples]] and [[Sorrento]]. I wonder if you have ever experienced the sensation which must be familiar to all Northern countries' inhabitants. After a few days in the heart of mountains, when you have feasted your eyes on their magical, odd shapes, there grows a craving for the plains, for the wide horizon, the boundless distance. That is why, despite the enormous charm of this country, I want to go to Italy, being most attracted by [[Naples]]. I just want to remain in [[Rome]] for a few days on the way, to renew the overwhelming impression, that I experienced four years ago at the sight of St Peter's and the Colosseum. So, my dear friend, I shall look forward to your next letter in [[Rome]], ~~post~~ restante, and then, when I find a stable place to stay for a few months, I shall give you my address.		I am very pleased with my present residence. Quite apart from fact that I have wonderful view of the lake and Savoy mountains, with [[Montreux]] to the left, and far away you can see Dent du Midi – I like the villa itself where my brother and I staying very much. Besides us, there are only two ill German ladies who never leave their room. We two dine alone in the table d'hôte restaurant. Nothing disturbs the peace and quiet here. But I will not conceal from you that I have persistent desire for a long visit to Italy and I have made up my mind to go straight to [[Rome]] with my brother in a week and half, and finally on to to [[Naples]] and [[Sorrento]]. I wonder if you have ever experienced the sensation which must be familiar to all Northern countries' inhabitants. After a few days in the heart of mountains, when you have feasted your eyes on their magical, odd shapes, there grows a craving for the plains, for the wide horizon, the boundless distance. That is why, despite the enormous charm of this country, I want to go to Italy, being most attracted by [[Naples]]. I just want to remain in [[Rome]] for a few days on the way, to renew the overwhelming impression that I experienced four years ago at the sight of St Peter's and the Colosseum. So, my dear friend, I shall look forward to your next letter in [[Rome]], poste restante, and then, when I find a stable place to stay for a few months, I shall give you my address.

	You wish me to draw for you a portrait of my wife. I shall gladly do this, though I fear that it may not be sufficiently objective. The wound is still too fresh.		You wish me to draw for you a portrait of my wife. I shall gladly do this, though I fear that it may not be sufficiently objective. The wound is still too fresh.
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	In any case, her appearance is more agreeable than the opposite. Neither in the expression of her face nor in her movements is there that elusive charm which is a reflection of inner spiritual beauty and which cannot be acquired — it comes from nature. The ''desire'' to be liked is constantly, always, visible in my wife; this artificiality does her much harm. Nevertheless, she belongs to the category of pretty women, that is, those on whom men, when meeting them, direct their attention.		In any case, her appearance is more agreeable than the opposite. Neither in the expression of her face nor in her movements is there that elusive charm which is a reflection of inner spiritual beauty and which cannot be acquired — it comes from nature. The ''desire'' to be liked is constantly, always, visible in my wife; this artificiality does her much harm. Nevertheless, she belongs to the category of pretty women, that is, those on whom men, when meeting them, direct their attention.

	So far it has not been difficult for me to describe my wife. Now, as I move on to a depiction of her moral and intellectual side, I encounter an insurmountable difficulty. In her head as well as in her heart there is an absolute vacuum; therefore I am unable to ~~characterize~~ either the one or the other. I can only assure you in all honesty that not a single time in my presence did she express a single thought or a single heartfelt impulse. She was affectionate towards me, that is true. But it was a special sort of affection, consisting of perpetual embraces, perpetual caresses, even at those moments when I was unable to hide from her my probably unmerited antipathy, which was growing with every passing hour. I sensed that beneath these caresses there was no genuine feeling. It was something conventional, something that she saw as indispensable, a kind of attribute of married life. Not once did she reveal the slightest desire to learn what I did, what my work consisted of, what plans I had, what I read, what I love in the intellectual and artistic sphere. Incidentally, the following circumstance surprised me most of all. She told me that she had been in love with me for four years; at the same time, she is quite a decent musician (her teacher at the Conservatory thought otherwise). Just imagine, that despite these two conditions she did not know ''a single note of my compositions'' and it was not until the day before my flight that she asked me what piano pieces of mine she should buy at [[Jurgenson]]'s. This fact utterly baffled me. It was no less surprising for me when she told me that she had never been to the concerts or chamber music matinees of the Musical Society, even though she must surely have known that she would always have been able to see the object of her love of four years at these events, which she certainly had the opportunity to attend. You will ask, of course: but how did we spend the time when she and I were alone together? She is very talkative, but all her talk comes down to the following few subjects. Hourly she would repeat to me innumerable stories about innumerable men who had felt tender feelings towards her. For the most part, these were generals, nephews of prominent bankers, well-known artists, even members of the ~~imperial~~ family. Next, she would no less frequently, and with a sort of inexplicable passion, describe to me the vices, the cruel and base actions and detestable behaviour of all her relatives, with every one of whom, it turned out, she is in enmity. Her mother would especially catch it in this. She has two friends, whose acquaintance I, too, had to make. In the course of the few weeks that I lived together with my wife each one of these two ladies was constantly falling or rising again in her esteem. At the very start of our acquaintance she had one other friend, too, about whom she said that she was like ''a sister'' for her, so much did she love her. Within less than two weeks this ''sister'' had suddenly fallen in her eyes to the very lowest grade of human abjectness. When I was with her at her mother's place in the country during the summer, it seemed to me then that they got on splendidly. When I returned from [[Kamenka]] I learnt that they had already had a huge row in [[Moscow]], and very soon I received from her mother a letter in which she complained about her daughter's disobedience. The third topic of her indefatigable chatter was her stories of her life at boarding school. There was no end to them.		So far it has not been difficult for me to describe my wife. Now, as I move on to a depiction of her moral and intellectual side, I encounter an insurmountable difficulty. In her head as well as in her heart there is an absolute vacuum; therefore I am unable to characterise either the one or the other. I can only assure you in all honesty that not a single time in my presence did she express a single thought or a single heartfelt impulse. She was affectionate towards me, that is true. But it was a special sort of affection, consisting of perpetual embraces, perpetual caresses, even at those moments when I was unable to hide from her my probably unmerited antipathy, which was growing with every passing hour. I sensed that beneath these caresses there was no genuine feeling. It was something conventional, something that she saw as indispensable, a kind of attribute of married life. Not once did she reveal the slightest desire to learn what I did, what my work consisted of, what plans I had, what I read, what I love in the intellectual and artistic sphere. Incidentally, the following circumstance surprised me most of all. She told me that she had been in love with me for four years; at the same time, she is quite a decent musician (her teacher at the Conservatory thought otherwise). Just imagine, that despite these two conditions she did not know ''a single note of my compositions'' and it was not until the day before my flight that she asked me what piano pieces of mine she should buy at [[Jurgenson]]'s. This fact utterly baffled me. It was no less surprising for me when she told me that she had never been to the concerts or chamber music matinees of the Musical Society, even though she must surely have known that she would always have been able to see the object of her love of four years at these events, which she certainly had the opportunity to attend. You will ask, of course: but how did we spend the time when she and I were alone together? She is very talkative, but all her talk comes down to the following few subjects. Hourly she would repeat to me innumerable stories about innumerable men who had felt tender feelings towards her. For the most part, these were generals, nephews of prominent bankers, well-known artists, even members of the Imperial family. Next, she would no less frequently, and with a sort of inexplicable passion, describe to me the vices, the cruel and base actions and detestable behaviour of all her relatives, with every one of whom, it turned out, she is in enmity. Her mother would especially catch it in this. She has two friends, whose acquaintance I, too, had to make. In the course of the few weeks that I lived together with my wife, each one of these two ladies was constantly falling or rising again in her esteem. At the very start of our acquaintance she had one other friend, too, about whom she said that she was like ''a sister'' for her, so much did she love her. Within less than two weeks, this ''sister'' had suddenly fallen in her eyes to the very lowest grade of human abjectness. When I was with her at her mother's place in the country during the summer, it seemed to me then that they got on splendidly. When I returned from [[Kamenka]], I learnt that they had already had a huge row in [[Moscow]], and very soon I received from her mother a letter in which she complained about her daughter's disobedience. The third topic of her indefatigable chatter was her stories of her life at boarding school. There was no end to them.

	To give you a sense of how it was impossible for me to elicit from her even a single genuine spiritual impulse, I will cite the following example. Desiring to know what maternal instincts she had, I asked her once whether she liked children. I received in reply: "''Yes, when they are clever''".		To give you a sense of how it was impossible for me to elicit from her even a single genuine spiritual impulse, I will cite the following example. Desiring to know what maternal instincts she had, I asked her once whether she liked children. I received in reply: "''Yes, when they are clever''".
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	Yesterday my brother received a letter from her. In it she presents herself in an entirely new light. From a gentle dove she had suddenly become a quite angry, very demanding, very false person. She makes numerous reproaches against me to the effect that I shamelessly deceived her. I answered her. I explained to her flatly that I did not intend to enter into any arguments with her, as this would lead nowhere. All the blame I took on myself. I begged her earnestly to forgive me any harm I might nonetheless have inflicted on her, and I bowed my head in advance before any decision she might make. But I would never ''live with her''; all this I announced to her in the most emphatic manner. Hereafter, of course, I took on myself every concern for her needs and asked her to accept from me the means to live. I shall await her reply. At present, I have already provided for her for some time.		Yesterday my brother received a letter from her. In it she presents herself in an entirely new light. From a gentle dove she had suddenly become a quite angry, very demanding, very false person. She makes numerous reproaches against me to the effect that I shamelessly deceived her. I answered her. I explained to her flatly that I did not intend to enter into any arguments with her, as this would lead nowhere. All the blame I took on myself. I begged her earnestly to forgive me any harm I might nonetheless have inflicted on her, and I bowed my head in advance before any decision she might make. But I would never ''live with her''; all this I announced to her in the most emphatic manner. Hereafter, of course, I took on myself every concern for her needs and asked her to accept from me the means to live. I shall await her reply. At present, I have already provided for her for some time.

	And that is all I can tell you about my relations with my wife. Looking back at our brief cohabitation, I come to the conclusion that ''le beau rôle'' belongs wholly to her and not to me. I cannot but repeat that she acted honestly, sincerely, and consistently. With her love she deceived not me but herself. She was, it seems, convinced that she did indeed love me. Whereas I, though explaining to her quite precisely that I felt no love for her, still promised to do everything possible to come to love her. And since I achieved completely the opposite result, I therefore deceived her. In any case, she deserves compassion. Judging by yesterday's letter, it is clear that an offended pride has awakened in her and begun to speak in loud tones.		And that is all I can tell you about my relations with my wife. Looking back at our brief cohabitation, I come to the conclusion that ''le beau rôle'' belongs wholly to her and not to me. I cannot but repeat that she acted honestly, sincerely, and consistently. With her love, she deceived not me but herself. She was, it seems, convinced that she did indeed love me. Whereas I, though explaining to her quite precisely that I felt no love for her, still promised to do everything possible to come to love her. And since I achieved completely the opposite result, I therefore deceived her. In any case, she deserves compassion. Judging by yesterday's letter, it is clear that an offended pride has awakened in her and begun to speak in loud tones.

	Little by little I have started to work, and I can say definitely that our symphony will be finished not later than December, and then you shall hear it. Let this music, so closely connected with the thought of you, tell you that I love you with all my soul, my best, my most incomparable friend.		Little by little I have started to work, and I can say definitely that our symphony will be finished not later than December, and then you shall hear it. Let this music, so closely connected with the thought of you, tell you that I love you with all my soul, my best, my most incomparable friend.

Brett: Text replacement - "any event" to "any case"

2024-02-29T09:24:40Z

Text replacement - "any event" to "any case"

← Older revision		Revision as of 11:24, 29 February 2024
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	Yesterday my brother received a letter from her. In it she presents herself in an entirely new light. From a gentle dove she had suddenly become a quite angry, very demanding, very false person. She makes numerous reproaches against me to the effect that I shamelessly deceived her. I answered her. I explained to her flatly that I did not intend to enter into any arguments with her, as this would lead nowhere. All the blame I took on myself. I begged her earnestly to forgive me any harm I might nonetheless have inflicted on her, and I bowed my head in advance before any decision she might make. But I would never ''live with her''; all this I announced to her in the most emphatic manner. Hereafter, of course, I took on myself every concern for her needs and asked her to accept from me the means to live. I shall await her reply. At present, I have already provided for her for some time.		Yesterday my brother received a letter from her. In it she presents herself in an entirely new light. From a gentle dove she had suddenly become a quite angry, very demanding, very false person. She makes numerous reproaches against me to the effect that I shamelessly deceived her. I answered her. I explained to her flatly that I did not intend to enter into any arguments with her, as this would lead nowhere. All the blame I took on myself. I begged her earnestly to forgive me any harm I might nonetheless have inflicted on her, and I bowed my head in advance before any decision she might make. But I would never ''live with her''; all this I announced to her in the most emphatic manner. Hereafter, of course, I took on myself every concern for her needs and asked her to accept from me the means to live. I shall await her reply. At present, I have already provided for her for some time.

	And that is all I can tell you about my relations with my wife. Looking back at our brief cohabitation, I come to the conclusion that ''le beau rôle'' belongs wholly to her and not to me. I cannot but repeat that she acted honestly, sincerely, and consistently. With her love she deceived not me but herself. She was, it seems, convinced that she did indeed love me. Whereas I, though explaining to her quite precisely that I felt no love for her, still promised to do everything possible to come to love her. And since I achieved completely the opposite result, I therefore deceived her. In any ~~event~~, she deserves compassion. Judging by yesterday's letter, it is clear that an offended pride has awakened in her and begun to speak in loud tones.		And that is all I can tell you about my relations with my wife. Looking back at our brief cohabitation, I come to the conclusion that ''le beau rôle'' belongs wholly to her and not to me. I cannot but repeat that she acted honestly, sincerely, and consistently. With her love she deceived not me but herself. She was, it seems, convinced that she did indeed love me. Whereas I, though explaining to her quite precisely that I felt no love for her, still promised to do everything possible to come to love her. And since I achieved completely the opposite result, I therefore deceived her. In any case, she deserves compassion. Judging by yesterday's letter, it is clear that an offended pride has awakened in her and begun to speak in loud tones.

	Little by little I have started to work, and I can say definitely that our symphony will be finished not later than December, and then you shall hear it. Let this music, so closely connected with the thought of you, tell you that I love you with all my soul, my best, my most incomparable friend.		Little by little I have started to work, and I can say definitely that our symphony will be finished not later than December, and then you shall hear it. Let this music, so closely connected with the thought of you, tell you that I love you with all my soul, my best, my most incomparable friend.

Brett: 1 revision imported

2022-07-12T12:28:29Z

1 revision imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 14:28, 12 July 2022
(No difference)

Brett: Text replacement - "все-таки" to "всё-таки"

2020-01-25T11:31:28Z

Text replacement - "все-таки" to "всё-таки"

Show changes

Letter 625 - Revision history

Tony: "quite" to "quiet" for accuracy of meaning / "post restante" to "poste restante"

Brett: Text replacement - "any event" to "any case"

Brett: 1 revision imported

Brett: Text replacement - "все-таки" to "всё-таки"