Letter 1450 - Revision history

Tony: "albeot" to "albeit"

2024-08-05T12:38:23Z

"albeot" to "albeit"

← Older revision		Revision as of 14:38, 5 August 2024
Line 30:		Line 30:

	\|Translated text={{right\|14th March 1880}}		\|Translated text={{right\|14th March 1880}}
	Don't be angry with me [[Modichka]], for writing so little and uselessly from here. I can't do anything worthwhile in [[Petersburg]]. Life here is a constant languor for me; all my thoughts are concentrated on one thing — how I might leave as soon as possible. Well, listen, for example, to what I did yesterday and today: ''13th March. Thursday''. I rose late (because I was at Meshchersky's until 3 o'clock in the morning), and, having drunk tea, rushed over to [[Nikolay Tchaikovsky\|Kolya]] to warn him that I was mistaken when I promised to have dinner with him the next day, and that I'd already promised to dine at a restaurant with [[Konradi]]. This muddle arose because, having turned up at [[Nikolay Tchaikovsky\|Kolya]]'s the day before, I was greeted with reproaches and a small scene for being absent for so long. From there I went to see [[Amaliya Litke\|Malya]], who turned out to be terribly offended and even shed tears, reproaching me for not wanting to know her, etc.		Don't be angry with me, [[Modichka]], for writing so little and uselessly from here. I can't do anything worthwhile in [[Petersburg]]. Life here is a constant languor for me; all my thoughts are concentrated on one thing — how I might leave as soon as possible. Well, listen, for example, to what I did yesterday and today: ''13th March. Thursday''. I rose late (because I was at Meshchersky's until 3 o'clock in the morning), and, having drunk tea, rushed over to [[Nikolay Tchaikovsky\|Kolya]] to warn him that I was mistaken when I promised to have dinner with him the next day, and that I'd already promised to dine at a restaurant with [[Konradi]]. This muddle arose because, having turned up at [[Nikolay Tchaikovsky\|Kolya]]'s the day before, I was greeted with reproaches and a small scene for being absent for so long. From there I went to see [[Amaliya Litke\|Malya]], who turned out to be terribly offended and even shed tears, reproaching me for not wanting to know her, etc.

	Then I wavered for ages over whether to go to see [[Nápravník]] or not. I need to go, but I don't want to, because I'm afraid of him — I don't know why. After painful deliberation, I decided not to go, and went home to write a little. Then I remembered that I didn't have a kopek of money, so I sent Akim to collect a fee from [[Bessel]]. I'd barely done any work when it was time to go out to dinner with [[Vera Butakova]]. But beforehand I had to track down Zhedrinsky, in order to pass on the Butakovs' invitation. I went to two taverns, but couldn't find him. Arriving at [[Vera Butakova\|Vera]]'s, I immediately sensed a particular sort of unpleasantness. She started talking about how the [[Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich]] wanted to spend the evening with me at her place. I was filled with an indescribable horror; [[Apukhtin]] suggested that [[Vera Davydova\|Vera Vasilyevna]] should invite him at once to come over after dinner. I forcefully persuaded him to postpone. After dinner and tea at 10 o'clock I wanted to go home, but [[Tolya]], who doesn't go for walks, wanted to go for a walk, and so I had to go for a walk. At home I found Volodya gloomy and upset — he's started again with the pains, constipation, etc. [[Tolya]] was fussing over some sort of missive that he needed to write to Saburov in response to a request that had irritated him. When we went to our rooms, mine turned out to be so hot that I had to sit for 2 hours with the window open, and open the flue. Finally I lay down and slept soundly (thanks to a bottle of beer), but heavily.		Then I wavered for ages over whether to go to see [[Nápravník]] or not. I need to go, but I don't want to, because I'm afraid of him — I don't know why. After painful deliberation, I decided not to go, and went home to write a little. Then I remembered that I didn't have a kopek of money, so I sent Akim to collect a fee from [[Bessel]]. I'd barely done any work when it was time to go out to dinner with [[Vera Butakova]]. But beforehand I had to track down Zhedrinsky, in order to pass on the Butakovs' invitation. I went to two taverns, but couldn't find him. Arriving at [[Vera Butakova\|Vera]]'s, I immediately sensed a particular sort of unpleasantness. She started talking about how the [[Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich]] wanted to spend the evening with me at her place. I was filled with an indescribable horror; [[Apukhtin]] suggested that [[Vera Davydova\|Vera Vasilyevna]] should invite him at once to come over after dinner. I forcefully persuaded him to postpone. After dinner and tea at 10 o'clock I wanted to go home, but [[Tolya]], who doesn't go for walks, wanted to go for a walk, and so I had to go for a walk. At home, I found Volodya gloomy and upset — he's started again with the pains, constipation, etc. [[Tolya]] was fussing over some sort of missive that he needed to write to Saburov in response to a request that had irritated him. When we went to our rooms, mine turned out to be so hot that I had to sit for 2 hours with the window open, and open the flue. Finally I lay down and slept soundly (thanks to a bottle of beer), but heavily.

	This morning [[Bessel]] sat with me for ages. He only brought half of the fee, and I was fed up with the protracted chatter. Suddenly I receive a letter from [[Nápravník]], informing me that [[Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich]] is inviting me to dinner today. I'd promised to have oysters with [[Konradi]] and [[Apukhtin]]; I don't have a tail coat, and my throat hurts. On the other hand, [[Nápravník]] flatly wrote that this was required for ''my opera''. A painful and lengthy deliberation; finally I decide to write that I can't go today, but that I'll go next Friday. Upset by this, I go for a walk. I stop off for lunch at Palkin's; I drink more than I should; I start with heartburn, fatigue and drowsiness. I wander about. Dragging my legs around is an effort. I cross the Neva bridge in the direction of the Peter the Great house. The wind is blowing mercilessly; there's a decent frost, and the sky is cloudy. I catch a service at the Saviour's. There are women praying, the smell of incense, Gospel readings — all of this infuses some peace into my soul; I pray most earnestly and cross the Neva again. I go home, still suffering from heartburn. At home I attempt to work, but I'm so drowsy that I throw myself on the bed and immediately fall asleep, ~~albeot~~ with a start and a pounding heart. I overcome my drowsiness and feel refreshed.		This morning [[Bessel]] sat with me for ages. He only brought half of the fee, and I was fed up with the protracted chatter. Suddenly I receive a letter from [[Nápravník]], informing me that [[Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich]] is inviting me to dinner today. I'd promised to have oysters with [[Konradi]] and [[Apukhtin]]; I don't have a tail coat, and my throat hurts. On the other hand, [[Nápravník]] flatly wrote that this was required for ''my opera''. A painful and lengthy deliberation; finally I decide to write that I can't go today, but that I'll go next Friday. Upset by this, I go for a walk. I stop off for lunch at Palkin's; I drink more than I should; I start with heartburn, fatigue and drowsiness. I wander about. Dragging my legs around is an effort. I cross the Neva bridge in the direction of the Peter the Great house. The wind is blowing mercilessly; there's a decent frost, and the sky is cloudy. I catch a service at the Saviour's. There are women praying, the smell of incense, Gospel readings — all of this infuses some peace into my soul; I pray most earnestly and cross the Neva again. I go home, still suffering from heartburn. At home I attempt to work, but I'm so drowsy that I throw myself on the bed and immediately fall asleep, albeit with a start and a pounding heart. I overcome my drowsiness and feel refreshed.

	I write fairly well. But it's time for lunch. [[Konradi]], [[Apukhtin]] and I assemble at Chesnokov's. We eat and drink quite a lot, but the conversation is stilted and tedious. After the second bottle, [[Konradi]] and [[Lelya]] start arguing about politics; both of them lose their temper and say harsh things to each another. [[Tolya]] appears from the court. He was prosecuting, tired and melancholic, complaining about something or other; having not eaten much, he says that he feels nauseous and that he's unwell. However, he still suggests going to the opera. I refuse, because I'm afraid of seeing [[Nápravník]], to whom I'd written that morning that I had a sore throat. [[Tolya]] is unhappy and leaves by himself. We sit a little while longer, and then [[Lelya]] takes me home.		I write fairly well. But it's time for lunch. [[Konradi]], [[Apukhtin]] and I assemble at Chesnokov's. We eat and drink quite a lot, but the conversation is stilted and tedious. After the second bottle, [[Konradi]] and [[Lelya]] start arguing about politics; both of them lose their temper and say harsh things to each another. [[Tolya]] appears from the court. He was prosecuting, tired and melancholic, complaining about something or other; having not eaten much, he says that he feels nauseous and that he's unwell. However, he still suggests going to the opera. I refuse, because I'm afraid of seeing [[Nápravník]], to whom I'd written that morning that I had a sore throat. [[Tolya]] is unhappy and leaves by himself. We sit a little while longer, and then [[Lelya]] takes me home.
Line 42:		Line 42:
	Isn't this a truly wonderful life?		Isn't this a truly wonderful life?

	Anyway, I'm completely well and can stand another couple of weeks of such a life — but then I'll certainly leave. Thank you for your letters. The day before yesterday I went to the ''school'' and ''very much'' enjoyed it.		Anyway, I'm completely well and can stand another couple of weeks of such a life — but then I'll certainly leave. Thank you for your letters. The day before yesterday, I went to the ''school'' and ''very much'' enjoyed it.

	I kiss you tenderly.		I kiss you tenderly.
	{{right\|P. Tchaikovsky}}		{{right\|P. Tchaikovsky}}
	}}		}}

Brett: Text replacement - "penny" to "kopek"

2024-06-06T20:08:25Z

Text replacement - "penny" to "kopek"

← Older revision		Revision as of 22:08, 6 June 2024
Line 32:		Line 32:
	Don't be angry with me [[Modichka]], for writing so little and uselessly from here. I can't do anything worthwhile in [[Petersburg]]. Life here is a constant languor for me; all my thoughts are concentrated on one thing — how I might leave as soon as possible. Well, listen, for example, to what I did yesterday and today: ''13th March. Thursday''. I rose late (because I was at Meshchersky's until 3 o'clock in the morning), and, having drunk tea, rushed over to [[Nikolay Tchaikovsky\|Kolya]] to warn him that I was mistaken when I promised to have dinner with him the next day, and that I'd already promised to dine at a restaurant with [[Konradi]]. This muddle arose because, having turned up at [[Nikolay Tchaikovsky\|Kolya]]'s the day before, I was greeted with reproaches and a small scene for being absent for so long. From there I went to see [[Amaliya Litke\|Malya]], who turned out to be terribly offended and even shed tears, reproaching me for not wanting to know her, etc.		Don't be angry with me [[Modichka]], for writing so little and uselessly from here. I can't do anything worthwhile in [[Petersburg]]. Life here is a constant languor for me; all my thoughts are concentrated on one thing — how I might leave as soon as possible. Well, listen, for example, to what I did yesterday and today: ''13th March. Thursday''. I rose late (because I was at Meshchersky's until 3 o'clock in the morning), and, having drunk tea, rushed over to [[Nikolay Tchaikovsky\|Kolya]] to warn him that I was mistaken when I promised to have dinner with him the next day, and that I'd already promised to dine at a restaurant with [[Konradi]]. This muddle arose because, having turned up at [[Nikolay Tchaikovsky\|Kolya]]'s the day before, I was greeted with reproaches and a small scene for being absent for so long. From there I went to see [[Amaliya Litke\|Malya]], who turned out to be terribly offended and even shed tears, reproaching me for not wanting to know her, etc.

	Then I wavered for ages over whether to go to see [[Nápravník]] or not. I need to go, but I don't want to, because I'm afraid of him — I don't know why. After painful deliberation, I decided not to go, and went home to write a little. Then I remembered that I didn't have a ~~penny~~ of money, so I sent Akim to collect a fee from [[Bessel]]. I'd barely done any work when it was time to go out to dinner with [[Vera Butakova]]. But beforehand I had to track down Zhedrinsky, in order to pass on the Butakovs' invitation. I went to two taverns, but couldn't find him. Arriving at [[Vera Butakova\|Vera]]'s, I immediately sensed a particular sort of unpleasantness. She started talking about how the [[Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich]] wanted to spend the evening with me at her place. I was filled with an indescribable horror; [[Apukhtin]] suggested that [[Vera Davydova\|Vera Vasilyevna]] should invite him at once to come over after dinner. I forcefully persuaded him to postpone. After dinner and tea at 10 o'clock I wanted to go home, but [[Tolya]], who doesn't go for walks, wanted to go for a walk, and so I had to go for a walk. At home I found Volodya gloomy and upset — he's started again with the pains, constipation, etc. [[Tolya]] was fussing over some sort of missive that he needed to write to Saburov in response to a request that had irritated him. When we went to our rooms, mine turned out to be so hot that I had to sit for 2 hours with the window open, and open the flue. Finally I lay down and slept soundly (thanks to a bottle of beer), but heavily.		Then I wavered for ages over whether to go to see [[Nápravník]] or not. I need to go, but I don't want to, because I'm afraid of him — I don't know why. After painful deliberation, I decided not to go, and went home to write a little. Then I remembered that I didn't have a kopek of money, so I sent Akim to collect a fee from [[Bessel]]. I'd barely done any work when it was time to go out to dinner with [[Vera Butakova]]. But beforehand I had to track down Zhedrinsky, in order to pass on the Butakovs' invitation. I went to two taverns, but couldn't find him. Arriving at [[Vera Butakova\|Vera]]'s, I immediately sensed a particular sort of unpleasantness. She started talking about how the [[Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich]] wanted to spend the evening with me at her place. I was filled with an indescribable horror; [[Apukhtin]] suggested that [[Vera Davydova\|Vera Vasilyevna]] should invite him at once to come over after dinner. I forcefully persuaded him to postpone. After dinner and tea at 10 o'clock I wanted to go home, but [[Tolya]], who doesn't go for walks, wanted to go for a walk, and so I had to go for a walk. At home I found Volodya gloomy and upset — he's started again with the pains, constipation, etc. [[Tolya]] was fussing over some sort of missive that he needed to write to Saburov in response to a request that had irritated him. When we went to our rooms, mine turned out to be so hot that I had to sit for 2 hours with the window open, and open the flue. Finally I lay down and slept soundly (thanks to a bottle of beer), but heavily.

	This morning [[Bessel]] sat with me for ages. He only brought half of the fee, and I was fed up with the protracted chatter. Suddenly I receive a letter from [[Nápravník]], informing me that [[Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich]] is inviting me to dinner today. I'd promised to have oysters with [[Konradi]] and [[Apukhtin]]; I don't have a tail coat, and my throat hurts. On the other hand, [[Nápravník]] flatly wrote that this was required for ''my opera''. A painful and lengthy deliberation; finally I decide to write that I can't go today, but that I'll go next Friday. Upset by this, I go for a walk. I stop off for lunch at Palkin's; I drink more than I should; I start with heartburn, fatigue and drowsiness. I wander about. Dragging my legs around is an effort. I cross the Neva bridge in the direction of the Peter the Great house. The wind is blowing mercilessly; there's a decent frost, and the sky is cloudy. I catch a service at the Saviour's. There are women praying, the smell of incense, Gospel readings — all of this infuses some peace into my soul; I pray most earnestly and cross the Neva again. I go home, still suffering from heartburn. At home I attempt to work, but I'm so drowsy that I throw myself on the bed and immediately fall asleep, albeot with a start and a pounding heart. I overcome my drowsiness and feel refreshed.		This morning [[Bessel]] sat with me for ages. He only brought half of the fee, and I was fed up with the protracted chatter. Suddenly I receive a letter from [[Nápravník]], informing me that [[Grand Duke Konstantin Konstantinovich]] is inviting me to dinner today. I'd promised to have oysters with [[Konradi]] and [[Apukhtin]]; I don't have a tail coat, and my throat hurts. On the other hand, [[Nápravník]] flatly wrote that this was required for ''my opera''. A painful and lengthy deliberation; finally I decide to write that I can't go today, but that I'll go next Friday. Upset by this, I go for a walk. I stop off for lunch at Palkin's; I drink more than I should; I start with heartburn, fatigue and drowsiness. I wander about. Dragging my legs around is an effort. I cross the Neva bridge in the direction of the Peter the Great house. The wind is blowing mercilessly; there's a decent frost, and the sky is cloudy. I catch a service at the Saviour's. There are women praying, the smell of incense, Gospel readings — all of this infuses some peace into my soul; I pray most earnestly and cross the Neva again. I go home, still suffering from heartburn. At home I attempt to work, but I'm so drowsy that I throw myself on the bed and immediately fall asleep, albeot with a start and a pounding heart. I overcome my drowsiness and feel refreshed.

Brett at 21:04, 27 March 2024

2024-03-27T21:04:59Z

Show changes

Brett: Text replacement - ". что" to ", что"

2024-01-24T16:28:00Z

Text replacement - ". что" to ", что"

← Older revision		Revision as of 18:28, 24 January 2024
Line 18:		Line 18:
	Сегодня утром у меня долго сидел Бессель. Принёс только половину гонорара и надоел продолжительной болтовнёй. Вдруг получается письмо от Направника, сообщающее что вел[икий] кн[язь] Конст[антин] Никол[аевич] приглашает меня сегодня обедать. Между тем я обещал Конради и Апухтину есть устрицы; фрака у меня нет, да и горло болит. С другой стороны, Направник прямо пишет, что эта нужно для ''моей оперы''. Мучительное и долгое колебание; наконец, решаюсь написать, что сегодня не могу, но что в будущую пятницу поеду. Расстроенный этим, иду гулять. Захожу завтракать к Палкину; выпиваю больше, чем следует; получаю изжогу, усталость и сонливость, Иду шляться. Ноги насилу волочатся. Перехожу по мосткам Неву по направлению домика Петра Великого. Ветер дует немилосердно; мороз порядочный, и небо серо. У Спасителя застаю молебен. Молящиеся женщины, запах ладана, чтение Евангелия, — все это вливает в мою душу несколько спокойствия; молюсь весьма усердно и опять перехожу Неву. Иду домой, продолжая страдать изжогой. Дома пробую заниматься, но меня клонит ко сну до того, что я бросаюсь на постель, тотчас же засыпаю, но с вздрагиванием и биением сердца. Превозмогаю сонливость и чувствую себя освежённым.		Сегодня утром у меня долго сидел Бессель. Принёс только половину гонорара и надоел продолжительной болтовнёй. Вдруг получается письмо от Направника, сообщающее что вел[икий] кн[язь] Конст[антин] Никол[аевич] приглашает меня сегодня обедать. Между тем я обещал Конради и Апухтину есть устрицы; фрака у меня нет, да и горло болит. С другой стороны, Направник прямо пишет, что эта нужно для ''моей оперы''. Мучительное и долгое колебание; наконец, решаюсь написать, что сегодня не могу, но что в будущую пятницу поеду. Расстроенный этим, иду гулять. Захожу завтракать к Палкину; выпиваю больше, чем следует; получаю изжогу, усталость и сонливость, Иду шляться. Ноги насилу волочатся. Перехожу по мосткам Неву по направлению домика Петра Великого. Ветер дует немилосердно; мороз порядочный, и небо серо. У Спасителя застаю молебен. Молящиеся женщины, запах ладана, чтение Евангелия, — все это вливает в мою душу несколько спокойствия; молюсь весьма усердно и опять перехожу Неву. Иду домой, продолжая страдать изжогой. Дома пробую заниматься, но меня клонит ко сну до того, что я бросаюсь на постель, тотчас же засыпаю, но с вздрагиванием и биением сердца. Превозмогаю сонливость и чувствую себя освежённым.

	Пишу довольно удачно. Но пора обедать. У Чеснокова съезжаются Конради, Леля и я. Едим и пьём довольно много, на беседа вялая, скучная. После второй бутылки у Конради с Лелей завязывается политический спор; оба горячатся и говорят друг другу резкости. Является из суда Толя. Он обвинял, устал и меланхоличен; жалуется на что-то такое; поевши не много, говорит. что его тошнит и что ему нездоровится. Однако ж предлагает ехать в оперу. Я отказываюсь, ибо боюсь увидеться с Направником, которому я написал утром, что у меня болит горло. Толя недоволен и уезжает один. Мы ещё немножко сидим, и потом Леля довозит меня до дому.		Пишу довольно удачно. Но пора обедать. У Чеснокова съезжаются Конради, Леля и я. Едим и пьём довольно много, на беседа вялая, скучная. После второй бутылки у Конради с Лелей завязывается политический спор; оба горячатся и говорят друг другу резкости. Является из суда Толя. Он обвинял, устал и меланхоличен; жалуется на что-то такое; поевши не много, говорит, что его тошнит и что ему нездоровится. Однако ж предлагает ехать в оперу. Я отказываюсь, ибо боюсь увидеться с Направником, которому я написал утром, что у меня болит горло. Толя недоволен и уезжает один. Мы ещё немножко сидим, и потом Леля довозит меня до дому.

	Идёт густой снег. На улице стало тихо, ибо слой снега заглушает шум экипажей. Дома мне делается до того скучно, что ухожу в Александринский театр. Попадаю на З-й акт «''Dame aux camelias''». Савина отвратительна; актёры, изображающие французских джентльменов, — лакеи. В антракте встречаю Пыляева, Аверкиева и веду с ними разговоры, Уезжаю домой. Никого нет. Прошу сонного и мрачного Акима поставить самовар. Сажусь писать тебе.		Идёт густой снег. На улице стало тихо, ибо слой снега заглушает шум экипажей. Дома мне делается до того скучно, что ухожу в Александринский театр. Попадаю на З-й акт «''Dame aux camelias''». Савина отвратительна; актёры, изображающие французских джентльменов, — лакеи. В антракте встречаю Пыляева, Аверкиева и веду с ними разговоры, Уезжаю домой. Никого нет. Прошу сонного и мрачного Акима поставить самовар. Сажусь писать тебе.

Brett: 1 revision imported

2022-07-12T12:19:59Z

1 revision imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 14:19, 12 July 2022
(No difference)

Brett at 19:33, 9 April 2020

2020-04-09T19:33:50Z

New page

{{letterhead
|Date=14/26 March 1880
|To=[[Modest Tchaikovsky]]
|Place=[[Saint Petersburg]]
|Language=Russian
|Autograph=[[Klin]] (Russia): {{RUS-KLč}} (a{{sup|3}}, No. 1584)
|Publication={{bib|1901/24|Жизнь Петра Ильича Чайковского ; том 2}} (1901), p. 383–385 (abridged)<br/>{{bib|1955/37|П. И. Чайковский. Письма к близким}} (1955), p. 245–247<br/>{{bib|1965/80|П. И. Чайковский. Полное собрание сочинений ; том IX}} (1965), p. 81–83 (abridged)<br/>{{bib|1981/81|Piotr Ilyich Tchaikovsky. Letters to his family. An autobiography}} (1981), p. 238–240 (English translation)
}}
==Text==
{{Lettertext
|Language=Russian
|Translator=
|Original text={{right|14-го марта [18]80 г[ода]}}
Не сердись на меня, Модичка, за то, что пишу отсюда мало и бестолково. Я не могу в Петербурге ничего делать путно. Жизнь здесь для меня — постоянное томление; все мысли сосредоточены на одном — как бы поскорее уехать. Ну послушай. напр[имер], что я делал вчера и сегодня: ''13-е марта. Четверг''. Поздно встав (ибо пробыл у Мещерского до 3 час[ов] ночи) и, напившись чаю, побежал к Коле, дабы предупредить его, что я ошибся, обещав обедать у него на следующий день, и что я уже раньше обещал Конради обедать с ним в ресторане. Произошла же эта путаница, ибо, явившись накануне к Коле. я был встречен упрёками и маленькой сценой за то, что так долго не являлся. Оттуда пошёл к Мале, которая оказалась страшно обиженной и даже прослезилась, упрекая меня в нежелании её знать и т. д.

Потом долго колебался — идти к Направнику или нет. Идти нужно, а не хочется. ибо я его боюсь, — не знаю почему. После мучительного колебания решил не идти и пошёл домой, чтобы немножко пописать. Тут вспомнил, что у меня нет ни копейки денег, и послал Акима к Бесселю за гонораром. Едва немножко поработал, как уже настало. время идти обедать к Вере Бутаковой. Но предварительно нужно было отыскать Жедринского, чтобы передать ему приглашение Бутаковых. Был в двух трактирах и не нашёл. Приехавши к Вере, получил тотчас же неприятность особого рода. Она заговорила о том, что вел[икий] кн[язь] Конст[антин] Конст[антинович] желает провести у неё вечер со мной. Меня это привело в неописанный ужас; Апухтин подал мысль, чтобы Вера Вас[ильевна] тотчас пригласила его приехать после обеда. Насилу я уговорил отложить. После обеда и чая в 10 часов я хотел идти домой, но Толя, не гулявший, хотел гулять, и нужно была гулять. Дома нашли Володю мрачного и расстроенного; — у него начались опять боли, запоры и т. д. Толя суетился с каким-то объяснением, которое нужно ему было писать Сабурову в ответ на раздраживший его запрос. Когда мы разошлись по комнатам, то моя оказалась до того натопленною, что я должен был часа 2 сидеть с отворенной форточкой и открыть трубу. Наконец лёг и спал крепко (благодаря бутылке пива), но тяжело.

Сегодня утром у меня долго сидел Бессель. Принёс только половину гонорара и надоел продолжительной болтовнёй. Вдруг получается письмо от Направника, сообщающее что вел[икий] кн[язь] Конст[антин] Никол[аевич] приглашает меня сегодня обедать. Между тем я обещал Конради и Апухтину есть устрицы; фрака у меня нет, да и горло болит. С другой стороны, Направник прямо пишет, что эта нужно для ''моей оперы''. Мучительное и долгое колебание; наконец, решаюсь написать, что сегодня не могу, но что в будущую пятницу поеду. Расстроенный этим, иду гулять. Захожу завтракать к Палкину; выпиваю больше, чем следует; получаю изжогу, усталость и сонливость, Иду шляться. Ноги насилу волочатся. Перехожу по мосткам Неву по направлению домика Петра Великого. Ветер дует немилосердно; мороз порядочный, и небо серо. У Спасителя застаю молебен. Молящиеся женщины, запах ладана, чтение Евангелия, — все это вливает в мою душу несколько спокойствия; молюсь весьма усердно и опять перехожу Неву. Иду домой, продолжая страдать изжогой. Дома пробую заниматься, но меня клонит ко сну до того, что я бросаюсь на постель, тотчас же засыпаю, но с вздрагиванием и биением сердца. Превозмогаю сонливость и чувствую себя освежённым.

Пишу довольно удачно. Но пора обедать. У Чеснокова съезжаются Конради, Леля и я. Едим и пьём довольно много, на беседа вялая, скучная. После второй бутылки у Конради с Лелей завязывается политический спор; оба горячатся и говорят друг другу резкости. Является из суда Толя. Он обвинял, устал и меланхоличен; жалуется на что-то такое; поевши не много, говорит. что его тошнит и что ему нездоровится. Однако ж предлагает ехать в оперу. Я отказываюсь, ибо боюсь увидеться с Направником, которому я написал утром, что у меня болит горло. Толя недоволен и уезжает один. Мы ещё немножко сидим, и потом Леля довозит меня до дому.

Идёт густой снег. На улице стало тихо, ибо слой снега заглушает шум экипажей. Дома мне делается до того скучно, что ухожу в Александринский театр. Попадаю на З-й акт «''Dame aux camelias''». Савина отвратительна; актёры, изображающие французских джентльменов, — лакеи. В антракте встречаю Пыляева, Аверкиева и веду с ними разговоры, Уезжаю домой. Никого нет. Прошу сонного и мрачного Акима поставить самовар. Сажусь писать тебе.

Не правда ли, какая восхитительная жизнь?

Впрочем я совершенно здоров и могу ещё выдержать недели две подобной жизни, — но потом уеду непременно. Спасибо тебе за письма […]

Целую нежно.
{{right|П. Чайковский}}

|Translated text=
}}