Letter 2263 - Revision history

Tony: Omitted "act" to avoid repetition / Inserted "I" due to sentence structure

2024-12-28T13:42:32Z

Omitted "act" to avoid repetition / Inserted "I" due to sentence structure

← Older revision		Revision as of 15:42, 28 December 2024
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	\|Translated text={{right\|14/26 April 1883<br/>[[Paris]]}}		\|Translated text={{right\|14/26 April 1883<br/>[[Paris]]}}
	This morning, in a state of desperation, I decided to telegraph you about sending money. Do not be surprised, golubchik, and do not think that I'm playing the fool by spending such a lot on myself. There is a delicate and secret family situation which, except for [[Modest]] and me, nobody knows about. I can only do what I can. Naturally, you ask: "but what if you didn't have any money?". My God, I don't know what would do, but I know that fate has unfolded in such a way that I ''must'' have it. I earnestly request you not to say anything to ''[[Tolya]]'' about money or all of the above. I was angry that, despite my warning, you told him about the ''five thousand''. He has now interrogated me, and I'm very much afraid because, firstly, he is a chatterbox, and secondly, under the impression that I'm asking for collateral, he'll probably write to [[Kamenka]] about it; meanwhile it's essential that they know nothing about this in [[Kamenka]]. Therefore, silence.		This morning, in a state of desperation, I decided to telegraph you about sending money. Do not be surprised, golubchik, and do not think that I'm playing the fool by spending such a lot on myself. There is a delicate and secret family situation which, except for [[Modest]] and me, nobody knows about. I can only do what I can. Naturally, you ask: "but what if you didn't have any money?". My God, I don't know what I would do, but I know that fate has unfolded in such a way that I ''must'' have it. I earnestly request you not to say anything to ''[[Tolya]]'' about money or all of the above. I was angry that, despite my warning, you told him about the ''five thousand''. He has now interrogated me, and I'm very much afraid because, firstly, he is a chatterbox, and secondly, under the impression that I'm asking for collateral, he'll probably write to [[Kamenka]] about it; meanwhile it's essential that they know nothing about this in [[Kamenka]]. Therefore, silence.

	I cannot definitively say for sure when it will be possible for me to leave here, because it isn't up to me. But I just want to leave ''very'' soon. I'll probably be free by famine week. You rebuked me that the pieces [[Anton Rubinstein\|Rubinstein]] played belong to [[Bessel]]. In fact, I have been somewhat wary of him, and I was afraid that he would harm me in the theatres if I didn't grant him concessions. I regret this very much, but anyway I will say the following to you in my defence. Had I then, i.e. 10 or 12 years ago, known as I do now and have for some time, that not having something of mine constitutes even the slightest deprivation for you, then of course, no earthly considerations would have compelled me to desert you. But at that time, you probably hadn't have sufficient opportunities to show me that it wasn't merely as an act of self-sacrifice ~~act~~ that you were prepared to publish everything I had written. I remember that then I was still far from thinking that your dignity as a publisher would be diminished by my dabbling with [[Bessel]]. What I wouldn't give to snatch those things from him. Isn't [[Anton Rubinstein\|A. Rubinstein]] a strange fellow? Why would he be interested in my piano pieces from 10 years ago? Why didn't he play at least something of mine back then? What a service this would then have been. Now, I'm grateful to him all the same, but there is a big difference.		I cannot definitively say for sure when it will be possible for me to leave here, because it isn't up to me. But I just want to leave ''very'' soon. I'll probably be free by famine week. You rebuked me that the pieces [[Anton Rubinstein\|Rubinstein]] played belong to [[Bessel]]. In fact, I have been somewhat wary of him, and I was afraid that he would harm me in the theatres if I didn't grant him concessions. I regret this very much, but anyway I will say the following to you in my defence. Had I then, i.e. 10 or 12 years ago, known as I do now and have for some time, that not having something of mine constitutes even the slightest deprivation for you, then of course, no earthly considerations would have compelled me to desert you. But at that time, you probably hadn't have sufficient opportunities to show me that it wasn't merely as an act of self-sacrifice that you were prepared to publish everything I had written. I remember that then I was still far from thinking that your dignity as a publisher would be diminished by my dabbling with [[Bessel]]. What I wouldn't give to snatch those things from him. Isn't [[Anton Rubinstein\|A. Rubinstein]] a strange fellow? Why would he be interested in my piano pieces from 10 years ago? Why didn't he play at least something of mine back then? What a service this would then have been. Now, I'm grateful to him all the same, but there is a big difference.

	For my arrival, golubchik, try to draw up my accounts with you, with [[Osip Ivanovich]], with the theatre, and with the Musical Society. I took a loan of 500 rubles from the Musical Society in December. But am I not due a fee, and how much will this be? Then I received royalties for "''[[The Maid]]''" from [[Osip Ivanovich]]. All the same, I think this ran to several hundred. I'll need to live with my brothers for free during the summer. And with your permission, I'll stay with you in [[Moscow]].		For my arrival, golubchik, try to draw up my accounts with you, with [[Osip Ivanovich]], with the theatre, and with the Musical Society. I took a loan of 500 rubles from the Musical Society in December. But am I not due a fee, and how much will this be? Then I received royalties for "''[[The Maid]]''" from [[Osip Ivanovich]]. All the same, I think this ran to several hundred. I'll need to live with my brothers for free during the summer. And with your permission, I'll stay with you in [[Moscow]].

Brett: 1 revision imported

2022-07-12T12:39:45Z

1 revision imported

← Older revision	Revision as of 14:39, 12 July 2022
(No difference)

Brett: Text replacement - "By God" to "My God"

2021-10-30T20:36:39Z

Text replacement - "By God" to "My God"

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{{letterhead
|Date=14/26 April 1883
|To=[[Pyotr Jurgenson]]
|Place=[[Paris]]
|Language=Russian
|Autograph=[[Klin]] (Russia): {{RUS-KLč}} (a{{sup|3}}, No. 2423)
|Publication={{bib|1901/24|Жизнь Петра Ильича Чайковского ; том 2}} (1901), p. 583–584 (abridged)<br/>{{bib|1938/40|П. И. Чайковский. Переписка с П. И. Юргенсоном ; том 1}} (1938), p. 300–301<br/>{{bib|1970/86|П. И. Чайковский. Полное собрание сочинений ; том XII}} (1970), p. 120–121
}}
==Text and Translation==
{{Lettertext
|Language=Russian
|Translator=Brett Langston
|Original text={{right|14/26 апр[еля] 1883<br/>Париж}}
Сегодня утром, доведённый до крайности, я решился тебе телеграфировать насчёт присылки денег. Не удивляйся, голубчик, и не думай, что я играю глупую роль, тратя такое множество не на себя. Тут есть семейное, щекотливое и таинственное обстоятельство, о котором, кроме Модеста и меня, никто не знает. Я не могу не поступать так, как поступаю. Ты спрашиваешь, конечно: «а что бы было, если б у тебя не было денег?». Ей Богу не знаю что бы было, но знаю, что роковые обстоятельства так сложились, что я ''должен'' их иметь. Убедительно прошу тебя ''Толе'', как об деньгах так и о всем вышеизложенном ничего не говорить. Я сердился на тебя за то, что несмотря на предупреждение, ты ему насчёт ''пяти тысяч'' говорил. Он сейчас мне грозный запрос сделал, а я его очень опасаюсь, ибо, во 1-х, он болтун, а, во 2-х, вообразив меня требующим защиты, он пожалуй в Каменку об этом напишет; между тем нужно, чтобы в Каменке ничего не знали. Итак, молчание.

Я решительно не могу наверное сказать, когда мне можно будет отсюда уехать, ибо это не от меня зависит. Но только ''очень'' хочется поскорей уехать. Вероятно на фоминой освобожусь. Ты мне прислал попрёк, что пиэсы, игранные Рубинштейном, принадлежат Бесселю. Действительно, я немножко суеверный страх питал к нему и боялся, что он мне напакостит в театре, если я ему не сделаю уступок. Очень раскаиваюсь в этом, но, впрочем, скажу тебе в оправдание следующее. Если бы тогда, т. е. 12, 10 лет тому назад, я так же как теперь и как уже давно, сознавал бы, что для тебя составляет хоть малейшее лишение не иметь чего-либо моего, — то, конечно, никакие соображения в мире не заставили бы меня изменить тебе. Но в то время, вероятно, ты ещё не имел достаточно случаев доказать мне, что не только в виде дружеского самопожертвования готов был печатать все, что я написал. Помнится, что тогда я был ещё далёк от мысли, что твоё издательское достоинство немножко пострадает от того, что я полезу к Бесселю. Дорого бы я дал, чтобы выхватить эти вещи от него. Какой странный человек А. Рубинштейн? Что бы ему было обратить внимание на мои ф[орте]п[ианные] пиэсы 10 лет тому назад? Что бы ему тогда хоть одну мою какую-нибудь нотку сыграть? Какая бы это была заслуга? Теперь я всё-таки очень ему благодарен, но разница большая.

Постарайся, голубчик, при случае к моему приезду свести мои счёты с тобой, с Осипом Ив[ановичем], с театром, с Муз[ыкальным] общ[еством]. В Муз[ыкальном] общ[естве] я взял заимообразно 500 р[ублей] в декабре. Но не полагается ли мне гонорар и какова эта сумма гонорара? Затем получил ли Ос[ипа] Ив[ановича] тантьемы за «''Деву''». Все-таки несколько сотенок, думаю, набежало. Лето нужно будет жить даром у братьев. Остановлюсь в Москве у тебя, если позволишь.

Обнимаю.
{{right|П. Чайковский}}

|Translated text={{right|14/26 April 1883<br/>[[Paris]]}}
This morning, in a state of desperation, I decided to telegraph you about sending money. Do not be surprised, golubchik, and do not think that I'm playing the fool by spending such a lot on myself. There is a delicate and secret family situation which, except for [[Modest]] and me, nobody knows about. I can only do what I can. Naturally, you ask: "but what if you didn't have any money?". My God, I don't know what would do, but I know that fate has unfolded in such a way that I ''must'' have it. I earnestly request you not to say anything to ''[[Tolya]]'' about money or all of the above. I was angry that, despite my warning, you told him about the ''five thousand''. He has now interrogated me, and I'm very much afraid because, firstly, he is a chatterbox, and secondly, under the impression that I'm asking for collateral, he'll probably write to [[Kamenka]] about it; meanwhile it's essential that they know nothing about this in [[Kamenka]]. Therefore, silence.

I cannot definitively say for sure when it will be possible for me to leave here, because it isn't up to me. But I just want to leave ''very'' soon. I'll probably be free by famine week. You rebuked me that the pieces [[Anton Rubinstein|Rubinstein]] played belong to [[Bessel]]. In fact, I have been somewhat wary of him, and I was afraid that he would harm me in the theatres if I didn't grant him concessions. I regret this very much, but anyway I will say the following to you in my defence. Had I then, i.e. 10 or 12 years ago, known as I do now and have for some time, that not having something of mine constitutes even the slightest deprivation for you, then of course, no earthly considerations would have compelled me to desert you. But at that time, you probably hadn't have sufficient opportunities to show me that it wasn't merely as an act of self-sacrifice act that you were prepared to publish everything I had written. I remember that then I was still far from thinking that your dignity as a publisher would be diminished by my dabbling with [[Bessel]]. What I wouldn't give to snatch those things from him. Isn't [[Anton Rubinstein|A. Rubinstein]] a strange fellow? Why would he be interested in my piano pieces from 10 years ago? Why didn't he play at least something of mine back then? What a service this would then have been. Now, I'm grateful to him all the same, but there is a big difference.

For my arrival, golubchik, try to draw up my accounts with you, with [[Osip Ivanovich]], with the theatre, and with the Musical Society. I took a loan of 500 rubles from the Musical Society in December. But am I not due a fee, and how much will this be? Then I received royalties for "''[[The Maid]]''" from [[Osip Ivanovich]]. All the same, I think this ran to several hundred. I'll need to live with my brothers for free during the summer. And with your permission, I'll stay with you in [[Moscow]].

I embrace you.
{{right|P. Tchaikovsky}}
}}